Emotional

So it has been a very emotional weekendish time for me.

Saturday it was 3 months since I lost my Granny Liz.  It has gotten easier  but I still miss her and think of her daily.  I do not think that will ever change. She had such an impact on my life. I can not even describe it.  I mean I was named after her.

Sunday was wonderfully uneventful. I stayed in my pajamas and napped and watched tv all day! It was  amazing.

Saturday I also helped an amazing teenager find her prom dress.  Ms. Lex is the same age as my sweet Conner. It made me miss for her so much! Not a day goes by that I do not think of Conner. It has been 1 year 9 months and 11 days since Conner was forced to move out. Just like with my Granny Liz, I still think of Conner EVERY SINGLE DAY. I miss her Every Single Day. It has gotten easier but harder too. I have missed so much. I am still not allowed to speak to her or see her.

I heard from Conner on Monday and it made me very emotional. I know that she is not that little girl that I picture sometimes when I think of her but to me she always will be. When I say it breaks my heart how much I miss her I mean it. I literally feel like a piece of me is missing.  She kept saying she wanted to come home but she cant.  Funny even after 1 year 9 months and 11 days she still considers this to be home. This is her family. Not the place or people she has been with during that time. I keep hope that in 925 days she will be 18 and out of high school and will not be able to be kept from me any longer.

I do not think anyone understands this pain.