Last night I posted a pretty depressing and emotional post. It resulted in a rough night for myself. I spent some time just crying ( as girls do) and just was not sure about how today would be.
I woke up this morning in a strange mood. I have been in a pretty great mood. I have felt happier than I have in a long time. I am not sure why and I am not sure how long it will last but I am grateful for this day! I have felt almost giddy! If I didn't know any better I would describe the feeling as being in love! I guess I am in love with life! For the moment anyways! HA HA HA!!!!
I have this overwhelming feeling that my life is going to be great! My life is going to turn out the way I always imagined and better. I have hope that this feeling continues. I am not sure where it came from. I hope that it sticks around for awhile!
Anyways, I just wanted to let everyone know that today has been better. I feel if I post about the negative and crazy things in my life I should equally post about the positive things!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Emotional
So it has been a very emotional weekendish time for me.
Saturday it was 3 months since I lost my Granny Liz. It has gotten easier but I still miss her and think of her daily. I do not think that will ever change. She had such an impact on my life. I can not even describe it. I mean I was named after her.
Sunday was wonderfully uneventful. I stayed in my pajamas and napped and watched tv all day! It was amazing.
Saturday I also helped an amazing teenager find her prom dress. Ms. Lex is the same age as my sweet Conner. It made me miss for her so much! Not a day goes by that I do not think of Conner. It has been 1 year 9 months and 11 days since Conner was forced to move out. Just like with my Granny Liz, I still think of Conner EVERY SINGLE DAY. I miss her Every Single Day. It has gotten easier but harder too. I have missed so much. I am still not allowed to speak to her or see her.
I heard from Conner on Monday and it made me very emotional. I know that she is not that little girl that I picture sometimes when I think of her but to me she always will be. When I say it breaks my heart how much I miss her I mean it. I literally feel like a piece of me is missing. She kept saying she wanted to come home but she cant. Funny even after 1 year 9 months and 11 days she still considers this to be home. This is her family. Not the place or people she has been with during that time. I keep hope that in 925 days she will be 18 and out of high school and will not be able to be kept from me any longer.
I do not think anyone understands this pain.
Saturday it was 3 months since I lost my Granny Liz. It has gotten easier but I still miss her and think of her daily. I do not think that will ever change. She had such an impact on my life. I can not even describe it. I mean I was named after her.
Sunday was wonderfully uneventful. I stayed in my pajamas and napped and watched tv all day! It was amazing.
Saturday I also helped an amazing teenager find her prom dress. Ms. Lex is the same age as my sweet Conner. It made me miss for her so much! Not a day goes by that I do not think of Conner. It has been 1 year 9 months and 11 days since Conner was forced to move out. Just like with my Granny Liz, I still think of Conner EVERY SINGLE DAY. I miss her Every Single Day. It has gotten easier but harder too. I have missed so much. I am still not allowed to speak to her or see her.
I heard from Conner on Monday and it made me very emotional. I know that she is not that little girl that I picture sometimes when I think of her but to me she always will be. When I say it breaks my heart how much I miss her I mean it. I literally feel like a piece of me is missing. She kept saying she wanted to come home but she cant. Funny even after 1 year 9 months and 11 days she still considers this to be home. This is her family. Not the place or people she has been with during that time. I keep hope that in 925 days she will be 18 and out of high school and will not be able to be kept from me any longer.
I do not think anyone understands this pain.
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